Ten ways to pick the perfect college

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Ten ways to pick the perfect college

Danielle Hamer

Danielle Hamer

Danielle Hamer

What school will you pick?

By Danielle Hamer

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For seniors, college decision time is just around the corner. Juniors are planning college visits during spring break. All around the world, high schoolers have college on the mind. Some may wonder how to pick the right school amidst tens of thousands of options.

With many factors to consider, an immeasurable amount of research to do, and countless schools to explore, students may find themselves in a tough spot when making a list of universities that are “right” for them. Here are ten ways to narrow down that stubborn potential college list and get on the path to picking the perfect school.

Cross off any school on your list whose mascot is extinct.
Could be an indicator of the university’s fate… don’t risk it.

Confirm that the school colors compliment your skin tone.
Basically, don’t apply to any school whose colors are orange or lime green. Academics, shmacedemics. Your first priority is making sure you look good on game day.

Don’t go to the rival school of any of your family members’ alma maters.
That includes your aunt’s fiancee’s step son’s half-sister. Thanksgiving dinner could get really awkward.

Cross off any school on your list that doesn’t have a Chipotle within a two-mile radius.
Make sure you are learning and studying in a positive, happy environment. There is nothing positive or happy about an environment lacking in burrito bowls.

Make sure the students-to-Starbucks ratio of your future school is as small as possible.
Sure, the student-to-teacher ratio is important, but if you can’t stop for coffee without having to tolerate long lines of students, you’ll always be suffering.

Don’t consider schools in locations where the changing seasons will negatively affect your hair.
The frizz is not the biz.

Only consider schools whose campuses looks exactly like the brochure.
Do you want a school that lies to you? If you go on a tour and don’t see an array of minority students laughing alongside someone in a wheelchair, be honest with yourself — that school put up a facade when they roped you in with promises of a “diverse” and “unique” atmosphere.

If 90% of the school’s budget isn’t dedicated to the football team, cross it off the list.
This is for those students who wish to have the “true college experience.”

If there are not at least three A-listers on the school’s alumni list, scratch that option.
If you don’t have the potential to become a superstar after you graduate, don’t chance it.

If your campus tour guide doesn’t appear to have just had four cups of coffee, it’s most likely not that great of a school.

GO DORMS! GO LECTURES! GO PROFESSOR OFFICE HOURS! GO BEARS! GO ALLIGATORS! GO BLUE! GO PURPLE! GO COLLEGE!